Sex toys have become an increasingly visible and celebrated part of modern sexual wellness, and for good reason. For a sex-positive and sexually curious audience, toys are not about replacing intimacy or “needing help”—they’re about expanding pleasure, understanding your body, and embracing desire without shame. Finding the right sex toy for you can be a powerful step toward deeper self-awareness, more satisfying sex, and a healthier relationship with pleasure overall.
Along with myself, the video features Nadège, a sex scholar and founder of Pleasure Science and model/actress Azaria, discussing their favorite sex toys and the importance of self-understanding for pleasure.
We all felt the need to emphasize that understanding one’s own body, particularly the “everything,” is crucial for a fulfilling sexual experience, whether alone or with a partner. Azaria talked about a full-body orgasm achieved with the Womanizer after gaining a better understanding of her own pleasure.
Why Sex Toys Matter for Sexual Wellness
Sexual wellness is about more than sex itself—it’s about comfort, confidence, and connection to your own body. Sex toys support this by allowing people to explore pleasure in a low-pressure, intentional way. Whether used solo or with a partner, toys can help you learn what types of stimulation your body responds to, how your arousal builds, and what helps you relax and feel present. This kind of insight often leads to better communication, stronger boundaries, and more fulfilling sexual experiences.
For many people, sex toys also increase access to pleasure. Stress, fatigue, hormonal shifts, disability, trauma recovery, or medication side effects can all affect arousal and sensation. Toys can offer consistent, customizable stimulation that works with your body rather than against it, reinforcing the idea that pleasure is adaptable and personal—not one-size-fits-all.
Understanding Your Body and Your Preferences
One of the greatest benefits of finding the right sex toy is sexual self-discovery. Bodies experience pleasure in wildly different ways, and what feels amazing to one person may feel neutral—or even uncomfortable—to another. Exploring different toys allows you to experiment with vibration patterns, intensity levels, shapes, materials, and styles of stimulation. Over time, this exploration builds body literacy: a clearer understanding of what you enjoy, what you don’t, and how your preferences may evolve.
This knowledge is especially valuable in partnered sex. When you understand your own pleasure, it becomes easier to guide a partner, articulate desires, and advocate for what you need. Rather than guessing or performing, you’re engaging from a place of confidence and self-trust.
Choosing the Right Sex Toy for You
Choosing a sex toy doesn’t have to be overwhelming, but it does help to start with intention. Think about what kind of sensation you’re curious about—external stimulation, internal stimulation, vibration, pressure, or something more exploratory. Consider your comfort level, experience, and whether the toy will be used solo, with a partner, or both. Material quality, body-safe design, and ease of cleaning are also important factors in making a choice that feels good physically and emotionally.
A sex-education–focused discussion highlights how the wide variety of adult sex toys available today allows people to find options that truly align with their needs. The conversation emphasizes informed choice, personal preference, and the importance of communication and consent when incorporating toys into sexual experiences. By framing toys as normal, accessible tools rather than taboo objects, this kind of education helps reduce stigma and empowers people to explore their sexuality with confidence and curiosity.
How Sex Toys Can Enhance Partnered Intimacy
Contrary to common myths, sex toys don’t diminish intimacy—they often deepen it. For couples and partners, toys can introduce novelty, reduce pressure, and create shared moments of exploration. They can help navigate differences in desire, add variety to long-term relationships, or support pleasure during times when energy or arousal levels don’t naturally align.
When partners approach toys collaboratively, they become part of a shared language of pleasure. Talking about what to try, what feels good, and what doesn’t encourages open communication and trust. This kind of dialogue often strengthens emotional intimacy as much as physical connection.
Normalizing Pleasure and Reducing Shame
A major benefit of embracing sex toys is how they challenge outdated narratives around sex and pleasure. For many people—especially women and marginalized genders—pleasure has historically been minimized or stigmatized. Using sex toys can be an act of reclaiming autonomy and affirming that your pleasure is valid, important, and worth prioritizing.
Sex-positive exploration reframes pleasure as something to be experienced, not justified. There is no “right” way to enjoy your body, no timeline to follow, and no standard you have to meet. The right sex toy is simply the one that supports your comfort, curiosity, and joy in the moment.
Pleasure as an Ongoing Practice
Finding the right sex toy isn’t a one-time decision—it’s part of an evolving relationship with your body. Preferences change, interests shift, and curiosity grows. Allowing yourself the freedom to explore without judgment keeps pleasure playful and authentic. You’re not committing to a label or an identity by trying something new—you’re listening to yourself.
At its core, choosing the right sex toy is about self-respect and self-connection. It’s about honoring your desires, embracing curiosity, and making space for pleasure as a meaningful part of your life. For a sexually curious and sex-positive audience, sex toys aren’t extras or indulgences—they’re invitations to explore, learn, and enjoy your sexuality on your own terms.
