Relationships come in many shapes. Beyond sexual orientation (who someone is attracted to sexually), relationship orientation describes how someone prefers to structure romantic, intimate, or life-partnership bonds. This includes whether they want one exclusive partner, multiple partners with consent, little or no romantic attraction, or something else entirely.
Relationship orientation terminology is fluid. It is shaped by culture, community language, and individual preference. Some people use “relationship orientation” interchangeably with relationship structure, while others emphasize internal attraction patterns. This includes the desire for romantic relationships versus friendship-based ones. It’s important to ask individuals how they use these labels — self-identification and consent are more important than technical definitions.
Below are the most common terms you’ll encounter. This includes how they differ from one another and what recent research shows about relationship trends in the United States.
Monogamy and Serial Monogamy
Often what people mean by “partnered” or “in a relationship” — describes a monogamous relationship orientation where a person seeks emotional and/or sexual exclusivity with one partner at a time. Monogamy can be legal (marriage) or not (long-term committed partnerships). The emphasis people place on emotional versus sexual exclusivity varies by couple.
Serial monogamy refers to the pattern of having one exclusive partner at a time across successive relationships. This involves dating, ending that relationship, and then dating anew. These are culturally common arrangements and remain the dominant ideal in many communities.
Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM)
Ethical non-monogamy (ENM), also sometimes called consensual non-monagamy (CNM), is the umbrella term for any relationship structure where all partners are aware of and agree to non-exclusive romantic or sexual relationships. ENM contrasts with infidelity (nonconsensual cheating) and includes several distinct forms, described below. Researchers and clinicians increasingly use ENM or “ethical non-monogamy” to describe this family of arrangements. According to a 2024 report, 31% of singles in America have explored ethical non-monogamy.
Polyamory
Polyamory describes people who pursue or maintain multiple simultaneous romantic relationships with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved. Polyamorous relationships vary widely — from triads and “quads” to larger networks sometimes called “polycule.” Polyamory emphasizes emotional and romantic intimacy, not just sexual connections, and depends heavily on communication, negotiated boundaries, and emotional transparency.
Polyamory has become increasingly common in many countries in recent years. According to statistics published in 2021, 4 to 5 percent of the American population practices polyamory. A different 2019 survey found that 7 percent of UK adults had been in a consensual non-monogamous relationship at some point in their lives. This latter statistic represents a marked increase from a similar survey conducted in 2015, which showed that only 2 percent of UK adults had been in such relationships.
Open Relationships and “Monogamish”
Open relationships typically refer to partnerships where two primary partners agree that sexual (and sometimes emotional) relationships with others are permitted under negotiated rules. The term “monogamish” refers to relationships that are mostly monogamous but allow occasional consensual sexual experiences outside the primary partnership under agreed conditions. These arrangements are forms of ENM and exist on a wide spectrum of commitment and boundaries.
Swinging
Swinging usually centers on couples who engage in recreational sexual activity with others. This commonly occurs in social settings, and often without the intention of developing romantic relationships outside the primary partnership. Swinging emphasizes the social and sexual aspects of non-monogamy and has its own established subcultures and communities.
Relationship Anarchy
Relationship anarchy is a philosophy and practice that rejects preset hierarchical rules about relationships, such as privileging a romantic partner over friends. Relationship anarchists negotiate needs and boundaries individually. They do not follow cultural templates like marriage or cohabitation. It can overlap with polyamory or ENM but is defined by its anti-hierarchical value system.
Solo Polyamory
Solo polyamory refers to people who value multiple intimate relationships while intentionally maintaining autonomy. They may live separately, keep finances independent, and avoid establishing a primary partner. Solo polyamorists often emphasize independence and the freedom to design their connections without hierarchy.
Asexuality and Aromanticism
Asexuality describes people who experience little or no sexual attraction. Asexual, or even Aromantic, people may still desire romantic partnerships and can be heteroromantic, homoromantic, biromantic, or panromantic.
Aromanticism refers to people who experience little or no romantic attraction. However, they may still seek close emotional bonds and even experience sexual attraction. Moreover, both romantic and sexual attraction exist on spectrums, including identities like gray-asexuality and demiromanticism. In fact, estimates suggest that about one percent of the population identifies somewhere on the asexual or aromantic spectrum, with higher proportions observed among younger individuals.
Queer-Platonic Partnerships and Nonromantic Committed Relationships
Queer-platonic partnerships (QPPs) are committed, intimate partnerships that are not based on traditional romantic attraction. QPPs can be long-term, cohabiting, and deeply bonded relationships that function as life partnerships. They are common among aromantic individuals but not limited to them.
Infidelity or Non-Consensual Non-Monogamy
Cheating occurs when someone engages in sexual or romantic involvement outside of an agreement and without their partner’s consent. Infidelity is distinct from ENM, which relies on open communication and consent.
Recent U.S. Trends and Research on Relationship Orientation
Research in recent years shows that attitudes toward and experiences of non-monogamy are shifting, particularly among younger Americans. National surveys and academic studies report:
- Younger adults are more likely to view open marriage and other ENM arrangements as acceptable. A 2023 Pew Research Center survey found that about half of adults under 30 said open marriage is acceptable. In contrast, older age groups showed lower acceptance rates.
- Lifetime participation in ENM among U.S. adults ranges from roughly 12 to 22 percent, depending on the study. The number currently in ENM relationships is estimated between 3 and 7 percent.
- Media coverage and academic attention on polyamory and ENM have increased significantly. These factors contribute to greater awareness and openness about alternative relationship styles.
- Asexuality appears to account for around one percent of the adult population overall. There are higher rates among younger generations and LGBTQ+ youth.
Shifts in Relationship Orientation Trends
Younger generations’ greater openness to non-monogamy doesn’t necessarily mean most people are practicing ENM. It reflects broader social acceptance of relationship diversity. There is a move away from a one-size-fits-all approach to love and commitment. Because definitions and study methods vary, researchers emphasize distinguishing between current relationship structure, lifetime experience, and attitudinal acceptance when interpreting data.
A YouGov poll of more than 23,000 Americans finds that about a quarter (25%) of Americans say they would be interested in having an open relationship. Men (32%) are more likely than women (19%) to say they would be interested in a non-monogamous relationship
Labels can help people communicate needs and negotiate healthy relationships, but no single term captures every person’s experience. Relationship orientation is as much about communication and consent as it is about structure. As society grows more accepting of diverse partnerships, it’s essential to focus on honesty, mutual respect, and ongoing dialogue. These are the true foundations of any healthy relationship.
